Care plan

Creating a care plan is an essential step to establish the foundations for future care that will adapt over time as the needs of your loved one changes. The core questions to ask right from the beginning which form the basis of the plan are:

● Who is the care recipient: an older parent, a spouse, a disabled family member or friend?

● Will the care be long-term or for a short amount of time?

● How much daily care is required?

● What type of care will the recipient need from the caregiver?

● What does your loved one want for themselves? For instance, many people do not wish to be relocated to a care home and would prefer to remain in the comfort of their own home. It’s important that you discuss this with them to ensure you are as aligned as possible on the care plan.

In addition to answering these fundamental questions, the next step in developing a care plan is to consider what your goals as a caregiver are.

While it may not be realistic for your loved one to live a completely normal life if they are generally unwell or living with a long-term condition, it could be realistic to ensure that they live a dignified, fulfilling later life and are treated with compassion.

Honesty is the best policy

Having an honest, frank conversation with your loved one about their expectations and your capacity as a caregiver early on in the relationship can make a big difference to the future.

The first care plan you make should be seen as just an initial step – it has to remain flexible and should be reevaluated at regular intervals. While there are many unknowns in caregiving, it is certain that circumstances will change over time, so be prepared to evolve your care plan every few months, or in some cases as frequently as week to week, if your loved one’s condition is altering quickly.

Over time and with more and more experience, you may discover that you need some extra help from outside support providers or additional family members in order to maintain your own quality of life and your family’s wellbeing, as well as, of course, the care recipient’s. Should that be the case, you may look into hiring external assistance from private live-in care providers to cover tasks that you may not be best suited to manage.

This could be anything from daily grooming, preparing meals, administering medication, paying bills, or home maintenance. You may also wish to seek the advice of medical professionals or other experts for their opinion when making care decisions to gain the benefit of their experience.

Whatever solution you decide upon, it’s important to check in regularly and to plan as far ahead as possible for any circumstances that may affect your care arrangements. And don’t forget to be realistic with yourself – it will take some trial and error to adapt to your new role as a caregiver and to acquire the skills needed to handle all types of situations that will arise.

You should never feel guilty if you need to take a break, there is always the option of respite care if you require some well-earned time to recharge.

Setting caregiving goals

Due to the nature of being a caregiver, you will no doubt experience a range of emotions toward the person you’re caring for. At times it will be easy to be patient and compassionate in your day to day interactions, whereas at other times it may feel overwhelming or impossible. For this reason, many people in your circumstances find it useful to write down a list of goals to help guide their role as a caregiver when the going gets tough.

These goals may be as simple as demonstrating random acts of kindness such as preparing a favourite meal once a week or taking a walk in the park together with a beloved pet. Or it could be ensuring that the care recipient is able to have a say in their daily schedule.

Many elderly people express concern about being a burden to their families or discomfort with being treated like children as they get older. Including goals such as independence or self sufficiency on your caregiving list and ensuring that your loved one remains as social and active as possible, can help to overcome this common issue.

Starting the care conversation with your loved one

While it may seem apparent to you or family members that your loved one needs the assistance of a caregiver, it may not be so obvious to the care recipient. Initiating the care conversation can be tricky, and concerns are often rooted in fear of losing control, of becoming a burden, or of being uprooted from their own environment as is the case with residential care homes.

Opening a dialogue by reassuring your loved one that you’re open to listening, are keen to understand their wishes, and want them to be as in control of their own life as possible, is a good place to start the conversation around care.

A good way to start the discussion is to simply ask your loved one what they believe would help their situation. For example, say “I wonder if you need some help with ____?”

If your offers of assistance are refused, you may wish to seek another opinion from your loved ones trusted friends, other family members, doctor, or elderly care specialist, who may carry more influence in this area.

Another way to position the conversation could be in the context of planning for the future, such as “Did you know that live-in care is up to 30% less expensive than a care home?”

Talking about personal finance or health can be difficult in the best of circumstances, turning this around to be in a forward looking situation rather than a pressing problem can be an effective tactic for discussing care options, especially for those who may wish to shy away from this type of sensitive topic. However, it’s also key to speak honestly and not to make false promises even though it may be convenient at the time to manage difficult emotions.

Finding a mutually agreeable solution will likely not happen instantly, so be prepared for multiple discussions between you, your loved one, and family members. Make sure to fully research the options available to you and include the care recipient in the vetting and decision making process.

There are now options such as live-in care available to make sure your loved one can remain as independent as possible in later life that are better alternatives to a traditional care home route for many reasons. In instances of dementia, Alzheimer’s or other condition that may affect the person’s decision-making capacity, you may need to discuss the best way forward with a doctor.

Caring for someone at a distance

In situations where you aren’t able to live close to the person you care for due to work or family commitments, it is considered long-distance caregiving, and while millions of people are remote caregivers, it comes with its own set of challenges.

For instance, being far away can make it harder to have the foresight required to anticipate care needs or to deal with any problems that may arise in the course of daily caregiving. If you are in a remote caregiving position for a loved one, you may consider the following tips for long-distance caregivers useful for overcoming the mileage gap between you.

Plan for regular visits

Visits should be planned several weeks in advance, and where possible arranged for workdays rather than weekends, so that you can organise medical appointments, or interview potential caregivers.

If you’re checking up on rather than setting up a caregiver, you may wish to show up without advance notice in order to get a more representative read of the situation.

For example, take a look at whether food is being stocked in the kitchen, the cleanliness of the home, whether monthly finances like utility bills and council tax payments are being taken care of, and of course that the overall health and wellbeing of your loved one has not deteriorated.

Set up a support system

As you aren’t able to be there all the time, make sure that someone who is, such as a close friend or neighbour, has a set of keys and is familiar with the medical alert systems you’ve put in place for your loved one in case of emergencies. Speak with them consistently at an agreed time so that you’re checking in at regular intervals and are informed if there are any changes to your loved one’s situation.

Whenever you speak with them, make sure to note down in a logbook whether there has been anything worrisome or that requires medical attention. Also write down the names of the people you’re speaking to, including caregivers, medical professionals, or anyone else involved in the care for your loved one, and compile a list of any required actions so you can follow up.

If you need additional assistance, there are a number of excellent services like The Silverline, who exist to provide support, friendship calls and direct to services for older people.

The local council in your loved one’s area should also be able to direct you to support services. Or if you have set up 24 hour live-in care at home for your loved one through a private live-in care service like Elder, you call the provider at any time for an update.